Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.
Q. How can you tell when Obama has been smoking dope?
A. He answers the door when the phone rings.
Q. Why did Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A. His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.
Like any experienced Chicago politician, Obama would go the cemetary to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has a much right to vote as anyone else here!"
Bill Clinton said, “I didn’t inhale.”
Barack Obama says, “I didn’t inject.”
Richard Nixon said “I am not a crook!”
Barack Obama says “I am not on crack!”
Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”
Barack Obama says, “Leave the bucks here!”
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Anagrams
President Barack Obama = Arab base, pink Democrat
President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbish
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08 .' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
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